Monday, 7 April 2014

Today's observations 07.04.14

1. When you walk into a spit'n'sawdust pub with children, you get death radar glares from the regs. They are watching football. They have £60 riding on this game. They have Ramsey to score. Your kids have totally fucked over the experience. Their eyes have now no choice but to be consistently distracted from the plasma screen to your children who keep peeping at them from behind the bar stool. 2. Don't under estimate these spit'n'sawdust pubs. They have staff, and occasionally punters, that actually really like kids. 3. For parties with children in tow, the momentous and massive power of a dog in a pub is mind blowing. That dog holds the key to the success of your pint outing. That dog will, if you play your cards right and if the owner is game, make your kids entire day. 4. Until you have to say goodbye to the rather cheesed off looking dog. 5. It's a fairly mature movement, but when you have some time, check out the nutritional value of regular food stuffs. We've been had. We've been eating absolute crap for years. And it's all prettied up to look great. 6. A middle aged woman supping a pint of Guiness is *always* going to look like she would a. Be interesting and b. Be a good friend. 7. Contrary to what's socially acceptable, I do feel better with a sun tan. 8. That turn from from sobriety, but not quite squiffy, can change the world. It is at this point that you get the "flavour" (as Flanagan puts it). The FLAVOUR. It changes everything: the day's plans, perspectives, boundaries, willpower and the total set-up of the day that becomes wildly different to before you sipped that Merlot 30mins ago. It makes you want to get changed into something more "go outy". It makes you want to text people to see what they are up to. It makes you want to buy cigarettes. 9. There are so many ornaments in our local McGintys pub. I can't believe nobody has stolen them. There are mustard jars whiskey glasses, token horseshoes and metal horse things. They are totally thievable. And they are still here. 10. On closer inspection, they are all stuck down. Many of the jars have handles missing from where someone has tried to prise the ornament off the shelf and it's stuck fast, thus tearing the handle from the jar.

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