Thursday, 29 May 2014

Today's observations 29.05.14

1, I feel that, personally, when bar staff are overly presumptious (competent) and brazen (accommodating) to ask you *if* they can get you another wine! then they should fill it up a bit more than the policy amount. I felt pressured into saying "Yes please, a large one". I really did.
2. If I was to do this blog sarcastic thing for a living (my lesser read friends have suggested as such), it would certainly mean an alcohol dependance, as I am fruitfully more apt and skittishly bright when I have the Flavour.
3. I feel a little mean writing that ^^. As one of the ones who suggested it is actually really eager-literate and knows what he/she is talking about.
4. Win. Phew.
5. I don't think I'd get on that well with Ed Sheeran (he seems the shy and retiring type...they don't dig me much) but I do really like him. I'm in a bar waiting for a potential drinking pal and "Small Bump" is playing. It makes me well up with sadness.
6. My appt in London cancelled today. It wasn't really her fault...someone from the paper pushing corporate should have let me know apparantly. So, I did the right thing of legging it straight home to the hungry mouthed bambinos and washing up.
7. No. I didn't.  I stayed out on beer duty in a plight to my blogging comrades.
8. Thank god for the old schoolers. On hearing my London Town outing, my dear aunt (also a second <better!> mother to the children) felt that it's only prudent that my poor malnourished OH gets fed around her loving, steamy and meat-fuelled kitchen too. God only knows, he may have had to make his own dinner when his flappy girlfriend (not even a wife!) staggers around the capital ordering wine and schnibbles. Seriously, she's great, that woman. Her real name is Margaret and she hates it!! We shall call her CAM (Crazy Aunty M**) for now.
9.We've just booked a little holiday to Norfolk in a "Elite Holiday Villa". This is actually a Static Caravan with sympathetic panels to cover up the gap between the caravan floor and the concrete base on the earth ground. We are taking the aunt and uncle because they deserve it. I'm more excited about the road trip there and back (we've hired a 7-seater!!!) than anything else. Uncle R (let's call him Ricardo for the sake of anonymity) will want some Elton John on and we can all laugh at his singing.
10. Hiring a car is a PITA. They wanted to know if I had "penalties"; These are totally subjective to perceptions and religious standing, right?
11. A 7-seater car means, apparently, that the 3rd row of seats are occasional and hinders the boot room of the car. Ok. Doable. I know that, despite prior warning and clear explanation, CAM will still bring extra bedding for a bed that doesn't exist in the "Elite Villa". And surplus food for the children. And bacon for OH.
12. I don't reminisce much about my old pre-children life. I'll scrap that. That's a lie. I do. But I'm getting at a point here. Bear with me. I was thinking today about some plans we have as a family. A bit of house improvement. An "Elite Villa" holiday in the windy Wash. Impending Sea Life centres and too-hot chips from the bag. Sling walks and earthy wanky smugness. Clubhouses with much-below-par "entertainment". Scampi Fries and fruit machines. Terrible discos and dancing competitions. OH and I in (apparently) single beds that are questionably narrow. Children snug in their own MDF cradles. This is what it's all about, eh? This is what makes my eyes prickle with excitement. It's a bit shit compared to the old stuff. But my GOD! It's my family and I truly love them.
13. My children are going to be right arses on holiday. They will hurt my feelings by dampening expectations. Ha!
14.Honestly..if Carlsberg did aunts....it would be CAM. I bet she doesn't get that this song is about you.....don't you....*don't you*...x
15. This bar is filling up rapidly with people wearing suits. Nothing much else make a me feel more uneasy than corporate people and being overdominated by such. I've got on Peacock Jeans on and a St.Elizabeth's Hospice castoff. *nods*. I'm a home working twat and no, I nothing about what you are discussing and I likely never will.
16. CAM is still asking Richard if I mean her.
17. I fell asleep on the train last night. I got the late one home; only 10:30pm..not too late. I gathered an arsenal of sandwiches and crisps for the journey. I'd had a few beers so I got some water too. I closed by eyes for just a few minutes passed Chelmsford. Was woken by the "ding dong, you are now approaching Colchester". Cool beans! The tannoy will awaken me when I arrive at my destination, stealing me another 10mins kip on this warm train with a bellyful of Peroni and Salt and Vinegar squares.
18. Alas, the tannoy fucked off at Colchester. I woke again as no train was stationary in Ipswich (and about to depart for Diss) so I legged it off the train leaving a billowing (and ashamed) pile of crisp packets and sandwich wrappers. Sorry bout that Abellio Greater Anglia...but you will insist on sporadic alarm clocks that are most inconvenient.

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